I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
