Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
