Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
