so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
