you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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