If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize