This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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