WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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