that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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