Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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