all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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