Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
