Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
