Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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