Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
