I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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