dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
