I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
