Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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