I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
