I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
