Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
