Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
