shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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