Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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