Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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