just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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