Who wears a wallet chain?!
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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