god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
