I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
