It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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