God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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