i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
