Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he quoted the bible to break up with me
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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