Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
