I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
