i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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