Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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