i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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