where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
