Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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