That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
