Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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