i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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