Already got asked if we're dating
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize