I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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