THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
We named our party play list daddy issues
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize