You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
