Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize