It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
