the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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