Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
tell me about the eggs
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
