508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize