for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
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