I'm going to jail i love you
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize