Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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