Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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