I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
