Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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