I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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