My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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