I CAN MOONWALK!
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
