Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
its liver damage thursday
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