Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I didn't notice because vodka
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Bring me that man meat
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
