They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Randomize
