You really coming over, don't trick.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
