after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
