He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
i think i just lost a toe
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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