the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
