come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
